Do you ever wonder if you are where you're supposed to be?

Do you ever second guess your decisions?

Do you ever think, how did I get here?

You're human.

And then sometimes everything locks into place and you realize that God worked everything out with a purpose in mind.

He knew all along.

I find myself homeschooling again this year.

Let me back up to the beginning of this journey.

Every year I assess what we should do when it comes to educating the girls. They both started out in a private preschool and it was wonderful, but then my daughter started elementary there and it was a different story. She started having a hard time. So, after that year, I started homeschooling her.

We then got an autism diagnosis. I had no idea…sometimes when you're in the middle of your life, you can't see things that others can see from an outside perspective.

When my youngest was done with preschool, she joined in homeschooling for her Kindergarten year. I really loved that time with them. I taught her how to read and the older one was learning cool history and doing fun science experiments. We enjoyed cooking together, going on hikes exploring nature, and taking lots of field trips. Outside time was very grounding for them.

I would have kept homeschooling, but my older daughter didn't like having me as a mom and teacher. It was a bit stressful!

We thought it would be best for her to go to our local public school for the remainder of the year. They would accept a 504 plan and had accommodations, so we hoped the change would be good for her. The next year her little sister joined her and they both did well there.

Until COVID hit. They were back at home, learning remotely.

Then middle school came. My daughter was disappointed they didn't get to have lockers after COVID. Things were so weird during that whole ordeal. Kids seemed to have forgotten how to interact with one another, bullying became an issue, and things got stressful again.

After one year, I pulled them out and returned to homeschooling.

This time it was better. My daughter was more regulated, and we enjoyed our time together, but she missed having friends at school.

She wanted to go back.

I knew it wasn't good for her to go back to her middle school again, so I started looking around. That's when I found out about their new private school and started working there. You can read more about that journey in my post, Sometimes You Get Exactly What You Want.

We stayed in that wonderful community for three years and made some wonderful friendships.

Towards the end of the third year, it was becoming apparent that we needed to make a change. Stress was high, her emotional well being was at risk, and my younger daughter started having health issues.

It was just SO busy.

Several factors weighed into our decision. We loved the people and the community, which made the thought of leaving especially difficult, so I prayed about it.

It would be another big change, but all things considered, it was the right thing to do at this stage in our lives, so we started homeschooling again for their 8th grade and junior years.

We really missed our friends and had to adjust our budget, but we made the best decision for us at the time.

Of course I kept weighing the pros and cons and second guessing myself.

I knew it was the right decision for the reasons we chose, but still wondered ‘what if’ we had stayed at school? They had friends and we could've toughed it out. After all, God opened all the doors for us to go there. Did we make the right decision to leave?

Now I was jobless and the girls missed their friends. We love homeschooling, but was this what we were supposed to do?

Confirmation came when we were at Cracker Barrel one summer morning.

We met my parents for breakfast. While waiting for a table outside on the familiar benches, my dad told me something I never expected.

They were moving halfway across the world!

I was shocked.

I don't think I really processed it fully at the time, but as plans started moving forward, I began to realize just how much our lives were about to change.

There were things to organize, preparations to make, and a whole lot of emotions to process.

And suddenly, I had something I wouldn't have had if I were still working at the school.

Time.

Time to help my parents prepare for their move.

Time for the girls to spend with their grandparents.

Time to enjoy the remaining months we had together before they left the United States.

Time to process this enormous change without the demands of my previous work schedule.

And time to continue homeschooling the girls with less stress.

I hadn't known we would need that time when we made the decision to leave the school. But God did.

All those months I had spent questioning our decision, wondering whether we had made a mistake, I couldn't see what was coming.

I had been looking backward, wondering whether we should have stayed.

God already knew what was ahead.

And now, looking back, I can see how the decision to homeschool gave our family something far more valuable than I could have anticipated.

God knew we needed the time.

Philippians 4:19 "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Matthew 6:8 "Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

I did not foresee this big change, but God did.

I didn't know my parents would be moving halfway across the world when we decided to homeschool again.

I didn't know how precious those extra months together would become.

I didn't even know to ask God for that time.

But He knew.

Navigating life can be difficult, especially when we find ourselves facing unexpected changes. We may not understand where God is leading us or why our circumstances have shifted, but we can take comfort in knowing that He already sees the road ahead.

We don't have to know every step of the journey. We simply have to trust the One who does.

Hebrews 13:5 "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."

What a beautiful reassurance! Even when life takes an unexpected turn, God is right there with us. His faithfulness does not depend on our circumstances, and His love does not change with the seasons of our lives.

Lamentations 3:22-23 "...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning."

Every new morning is another reminder of God's faithfulness. We may not know what tomorrow holds, but we can trust the One who holds tomorrow.

And sometimes, what feels like an unexpected change is simply God's providence leading us exactly where we need to be.

He knew all along.

Have you ever made a difficult decision, only to discover later that God was preparing you for something you never saw coming?