Parenting teens is not for the weak.

It's such a mixed bag of highs and lows, worries and triumphs, excitement and boredom. Sometimes we, as moms, don't feel qualified to take on such a complex task.

Thankfully, God does not require us to be experts, only to be open to His guidance and willing to learn each step of the way.

And sometimes, the lessons He uses to prepare us for parenting happen long before we ever become parents.

My daughters love theater. They have been in several productions and my older daughter hopes to continue acting through adulthood, maybe even as her profession.

We have talked about the hard work and challenges that go into a career in entertainment, but she has proven she is willing to put in the effort.

As she grows more and more experienced, she has discovered how much time and effort is needed for her craft. She has proven she capable and motivated to continue striving for what she is passionate about.

She will spend hours researching the perfect audition song for a role, practice singing it in different ways, and pick out a complimentary outfit to put her best foot forward.

But here's the thing about auditions.

Sometimes she gets the role she wants.

Sometimes she doesn't.

And watching your child work so hard for something, only to be disappointed, is heartbreaking.

I have been there when she was so excited, only to get rejected. It's almost as devastating for me as it is for her!

My job as a parent is to be strong and pick her back up, and then start at the beginning and go through it all again.

I tell her to be grateful for the role she did get and use this as a learning experience. I tell her to enjoy the process and have fun. I remind her that she can hang out with friends and socialize and be there for others. I also encourage her to be the best she can at whatever role she has been given.

And, I also tell her how proud I am of her for having the courage to audition in the first place.

But I also have something else to offer.

My own experience.

I love theater, too!

When I was in college, I majored in business, but I took theater classes because I was passionate about the arts.

I thought it would be amazing to be onscreen one day, but my disposition wouldn't allow me to receive that kind of attention.

It was hard enough for me to take my public speaking class for business! I was much better at being backstage or playwriting.

Going into my senior year, my academic advisor told me I had enough credits in both theater and economics to earn a minor in either subject with just two additional classes. I only had room in my busy schedule for one of them.

So, naturally, I chose theater.

But I was not prepared for what those two classes stretched me to do.

The first obstacle was auditioning for the Fall production.

I had never auditioned for anything in my life.

I had to memorize a monologue and stand in front of a panel of judges to perform. I didn't want to do it, but it was part of my semester grade. I had no choice.

Audition or fail the class.

I walked into the auditorium and faced the judges.

I was physically shaking.

I forgot my lines and had to start over.

I was mortified!

I cried all the way home.

At least I didn't have to sing.

It was horrible. But I lived.

However, I never wanted to do that again!

That feeling stayed with me for a long time. Embarrassment, failure, defeat.

The second obstacle came at the end of the year.

I had an improvisation class. I was still kind of shy, but I participated enough to maintain a C through most of it. I was typically not a C student, so I asked the professor how I could bring my grade up to an A.

He said I would have to do well on the final and it should help.

Except …

The final was a live improvisation performance in front of an audience.

And the ENTIRE University was invited!

This time, I put my pride aside and shook off my nerves. I was going to do what I had to do in order to get that A.

For the performance, we played the Give and Take game in front of bleachers full of our student peers. I gave and I took. I threw myself into the improv wholeheartedly.

This time I didn't fail.

I earned that A!

I was so proud of myself.

Not just because of the grade, but because I'd done something I never thought I could do.

I'd faced the same kind of fear that had defeated me before, and this time, I'd pushed through it.

Why do we have to go through these trials in life?

Sometimes I think it's for personal growth.

I certainly grew from that second experience. I discovered that I could do something difficult, even when I was terrified.

But do I think my first disastrous audition made me a better person?

Not necessarily.

I do, however, think it made me a better mom.

Years later, when my daughters started auditioning for theater productions, I had something valuable to share with them.

I was able to tell my daughters about the time I choked and completely bombed my audition. I could empathize with them.

I knew what it felt like to be embarrassed. To be disappointed. To put yourself out there and feel as though you'd failed.

But, then I could also share with them my accomplishments, to give them hope and let them know hard work does pay off. And be able to celebrate when they are successful, as well.

Funny how an experience I would have happily erased from my college memories became something useful all those years later.

Perhaps God knew I'd need that story someday.

But I've learned another important lesson through all of this.

I don't always have to cushion their falls.

Sometimes my default, as a mom, is to pad the disappoint before it even happens. I want to say, If you don't get this, be ok with something else…or be grateful for the opportunity. But I have refrained from saying that. I think it diminishes their excitement and underscores my faith in their abilities.

Almost as if I am saying, I don't think you're going to get this, so be prepared for the worst.

Now, instead of preparing them for failure, I encourage them to embrace the possibility of success.

So now, I say, You've worked really hard for this. Just do your best and I know you will be great!

Because, why not?

I can't tell the future, and they keep getting better and better, so why not just cheer them on!?

There will be plenty of opportunities to teach gratitude, humility, and perseverance. But right now, when they're excited about something they've worked hard for, I can simply be excited with them.

They have come so far, and most recently they got call backs for the roles they wanted!

They put the time and effort into their auditions and they are seeing the fruits of their discipline.

They have also grown in gratitude. They know what it is like to be the new girls. They have been rejected. They have lost roles. They keep trying.

And now they aren't the newcomers. They have experience and they have passion. They have persevered and gained skills and confidence.

They understand what it means to work for something, and they're learning how to celebrate the accomplishments of others, too.

I'm glad I get to help them in this journey.

My theater experience is not the same as theirs, but my knowledge has been beneficial, and now I can use what I have gone through to better navigate what they are going through. Those experiences have given me a perspective I didn't realize I'd need.

And perhaps that's part of God's providence.

Sometimes He uses the experiences we wish we could forget to prepare us for the moments we'll treasure.

That humiliating audition didn't seem to serve any purpose at the time.

But decades later, it helped me understand my daughters' disappointments.

And that improv final taught me that fear doesn't have to have the last word.

I couldn't see it then.

But God could.

Romans 12:15 says, "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."

What a beautiful reminder for parenting.

Sometimes our children need us to sit beside them when they're disappointed.

Sometimes they need us to encourage them to get up and try again.

And sometimes?

They just need us to celebrate with them.

No preparing them for the worst.

Just joy.

I'm learning that being a good mom doesn't mean preventing every disappointment or having all the answers.

Sometimes it simply means trusting God with their journey, sharing the wisdom He's given me through my own experiences, and being there for whatever comes next.

After all, God isn't finished teaching me, either.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the freedom to try, the grace to fail, and the confidence that we'll be cheering them on either way.

Looking back, I wonder if that embarrassing audition was ever really just about me.

At the time, I certainly couldn't see any good coming from it.

I was humiliated. I felt defeated. And I would have gladly erased the entire experience from my memory!

But here I am, all these years later, sharing that very story with my daughters.

And suddenly, something that once seemed like a terrible experience has become a blessing.

Not because failing that audition was wonderful.

And not because I believe every disappointment happens to teach us some grand lesson.

Sometimes bad things just happen. We experience rejection, disappointment, embarrassment, and heartbreak. We don't always understand why.

But I've come to believe that God doesn't have to cause our disappointments to use them for His purposes.

He can take something painful and bring something beautiful from it.

Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Notice that it doesn't say all things are good.

It says God works them together for good.

I didn't need to fail that audition to become a good mother. But God has certainly used that failure to help me become a more understanding one.

And that improv final? It gave me another story to share. One of courage, perseverance, and the joy of succeeding after being afraid to try.

We don't need to prevent every disappointment or explain every failure.

We just need to walk alongside our children, celebrating their victories, comforting them through their heartbreaks, and trusting God with the parts of their stories we can't control.

I had no idea, all those years ago, that God would someday use my college theater experiences to help me guide my daughters through theirs.

But He knew what my future held, even when I didn't.

And that makes me wonder about the disappointments I'm experiencing today.

The ones that don't make sense. The ones I'd rather forget.

Perhaps someday I'll look back on those moments, too, and discover that God has used them in ways I never could have imagined.

We may never understand why something happened. But that doesn't mean God can't give it purpose.

And sometimes, if we're fortunate, He lets us see a little of that purpose along the way.